Kerry O'Shea Gorgone

Writer, Speaker, Lawyer, Educator,
Host of MarketingProfs Podcast
Orlando, Florida
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@carolineeprice snapped this behind the scenes shot of my “fireside chat” at #mpb2b! (at Marketingprofs B2B Forum)

This post originally ran on the site CrazyMofo.com back in April 2001, under my nom de plume, Beelzebabe. I had to repost it now, in celebration of the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters’ cinematic release.

What woman could resist the timeless appeal of the Ghostbusters? They’re manly. They’re packing proton-powered heat. They’re cerebral and sassy. At least one is willing to drill a whole through his own head. (which certainly saves his woman some trouble). Each Buster of Ghosts might just exemplify a different aspect of the perfect male specimen.

Dr. Peter Venkman lords it over the ladies with his inexhaustible wealth of sarcastic remarks. Dr. Egon Spengler, the brilliant eccentric, can offer women security and stability… along with an impressive collection of spores, molds and fungus. What girl doesn’t love a collector? Dr. Raymond Stantz is chubby and cute, as well as possessed of an awe-inspiring knowledge of trivia regarding the gods and demigods of ancient Sumeria. And Winston…well, Winston didn’t seem to have many honeys digging his action so, for purposes of this article, he is fairly inconsequential.

Ghostbusters, the cinematic masterpiece, is rife with women who love, or at least lust after, our heroes in khaki coveralls. The most prominent is, of course, Dr. Venkman’s reluctant paramour, Dana Barrett. Although she spurned the good doctor’s advances at first, she eventually came to appreciate his smarmy charm. She ditched the nasal-spray addicted violin player post haste and hitched her wagon to the Venkman star. Even Dana’s mom was impressed with Venkman’s celebrity. Her response to Dana’s news that she was dating a Ghostbuster: “Those guys on T.V.?”

I would be remiss, however, if I did not also mention Barrett’s short-term corporeal tenant, Zuul. Gozer’s canine minion took possession of Barrett’s body as the apocalypse commenced and immediately sought to get some action. Little did she know she was slated for a tryst with Rick Moranis’ keymaster, Vinz Clortho. Before those star-crossed lovers, Zuul and Vinz, were to meet, however, Zuul threw herself at Dr. Venkman.

“Do you want this body?” she growled. “I want you inside me.” Exhibiting much self-restraint in the face of a gauzy red dress and the promise of some animalistic sex (much like one might see on the Discovery Channel), our hero rebuffed the gatekeeper. Result: Venkman revealed his moral fiber; Vinz revealed himself to Zuul, obviously content to accept Dr. Venkman’s castoffs. Then again, who wouldn’t be content to do the horizontal mambo with Sigourney Weaver, pre- or post-Venkman? In any case, although she ultimately hooked up with one of her own kind, Zuul initially fell under the spell of the Ghostbuster mystique, heating up apartment 2206 with her unsatisfied desire.

Equally devoted to her own Ghostbuster of choice was Janine Melnitz, the receptionist with red hair and “bug eyes.” (“Janine, sorry about the ‘bug eyes’ thing. I’ll be in my office.”) No doubt she memorized every detail of Egon’s countenance as she gazed at him through her enormous glasses. Although she proclaimed herself “very psychic,” she seemed entirely oblivious to the fact that Egon, the epitome of intelligence and male virtue, expressed no romantic interest whatever in any woman. Perhaps unbeknownst to the audience (and Janine), he was a eunuch. I like to think he was a workaholic whose sex life consisted of a daily, fifteen-minute phone call to a teen-bimbo-cheerleaders phone-sex line. It’s the romantic in me.

Janine’s unsuccessful pursuit does not end the saga, however. Many other ladies (both from New York and the nearest convenient parallel dimension) fell prey to the Ghostbusters’ masculine wiles. A newscaster in the movie references the Ghostbusters’ successful bust at a hip nightclub after which the boys in beige hung around to boogie down with some local girls. Many comely clubbers knew what it was to be roasted in the throes of unrequited love that night, I can tell you.

And let’s not forget Gozer. That prehistoric bitch broke out her best sparkly body suit for her appointment with New York’s Finer-Than-Finest. She even mistook Ray for a god! Must’ve been his Adonis-like physique. Ultimately, Gozer met a sad though tasty end. She was neither the first nor the last woman to turn into marshmallow mush at the sight of the Ghostbusters.

Since 1984, every man I have sought to build a relationship with has been measured against the Ghostbusters… measured and found wanting. Where is my Sumerian trivia wizard? My doctor / game-show host? I have abandoned all hope of finding him. On the upside, at least my refrigerator is demonstrably free of spores, molds or fungus.

“The Women Who Love Ghostbusters” was perhaps a misleading title because it implies that obsession with these modern-day heroes is limited to some group smaller than the female population as a whole. The truth is that, whether or not they will admit such an 80’s predilection, all women love Ghostbusters.

In that sense, even THIS chick is toast.

Come to my #SocialBrand14 session on why lawyers kill your marketing fun and you could win a signed copy of @annhandley’s new book, #EverybodyWrites!

My new post today for @markwschaefer covers tips for dealing with social media stalkers! http://bit.ly/DontBCreepy

As a marketer, I love seeing people do content marketing well. I especially love when they’re small business owners, and use creative thinking to drum up business better than the buy guys. I REALLY love it when said small business owner is my brother.

Update: They archived the video on babyproofing your trash, but this is the next one in a series of 15 segments! It covers adding value to your home with a few simple fixes you can do yourself in 5 minutes!

Nicely done, Warren O’Shea!

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Full Sail students, faculty and alumni, don’t miss your chance to hear Mack Collier, social strategist and author, talk about insights from his book Think Like A Rock Star. You’ll learn how brands can apply his techniques to turn customers into fans, and supercharge their word of mouth marketing! BONUS: Mack’s giving away 5 autographed copies of his book to attendees! Still need persuading? Check out this teaser:

Nice graphic explaining the distinctions between paid, earned, and owned media. Photo credit: Gavin Lewellyn on Flickr.

How to compress / zip a file using a Mac.

The education system is in rough shape. What happens at home matters more than ever. I just supported Support the #NCFLBigGive on @ThunderclapIt // @geoffliving

Always fun catching up with my friend, superlawyer @maxielu! #ILoveLucy (at Post 390)